The social construct of virginity is bullshit and I've had enough. Even now, in 2015, as a young lady, I am expected to be composed, proper, only speak when it's my turn, know my place, and above all else, save myself for marriage.
With roots in the Christian tradition, women are expected to remain virgins until married. Except when you trace it back, Virgin Mary might not have even been a virgin. Let me explain. The words for 'virgin' and 'young woman' were used interchangeably in many translations of the bible, and many theorize that Mary wasn't likely as virginal as she is remembered. A likely explanation for this shift is Jesus, If Jesus was just born to a normal woman, that makes him seem a hell of a lot less miraculous than if he were born to a virgin, so the meaning of a few words shifted and nothing has ever been the same. You'd think that our society would have shifted it's beliefs after so many years, I mean after all, we all wear clothing of mixed fabrics, eat shellfish, and gay people are even becoming widely accepted. So why do our older generations refuse to see women's sexuality as their own? Control. As with many other aspects of the patriarchy, it allows for the subtle control of women. If, for generations, it is pounded into womens' heads that pre-marital sexual activity will de-flower them, will taint them, will pollute their sensitive fragile bodies, they will begin to believe it. They will begin to believe that this control is what's best for them, that they'll never find a good loving husband if their bodies are robbed of their virginity. Men are allowed to do as they please sexually, and women are controlled into refraining from something they are biologically programmed to to just because it wouldn't please those men. This is part of the idea why the social construct of virginity is so damaging. When women believe that virginity is something that can be taken from them, that it's a piece of themself that they can never get back, they believe that it's something that a man has the power to take from her. They believe that somehow the penis has the magic power to take away part of a woman's self. The penis has no magic powers. It cannot take away something from a woman. Penetration does not have the power to taint a woman. It has no magic ability to make a woman soiled or used or any less than she was before. None of this is to say that sex should be taken lightly, as sex is important. Consenting partners should always both be on the same page, use protection, and communicate, however it doesn't have the power to ruin a woman. Those ideas strip women of their identity as human by removing their ability to have sexual desires or make their own decisions. These thoughts contribute to rape culture and the objectification of women. I say we start teaching little girls that they can have sex when they feel they are ready to have sex, when they can make smart decisions about protection, who they want to have sex with, and how easily muddled consent can become. I say we tell them that sex is a part of life and they have the right to choose for themselves. I say we teach them that they don't have to have sex ever, even after they're married if they don't want to. I say we teach them that their sexual desires are just as valid as men's, but that with sex comes the responsibility of the possibility of pregnancy that men do not have to consider. I say we teach little boys that they do not have the power to ruin a girl with their penis, they a women who has acted upon her sexual desires is not tainted or used up or no good. I say say we tell them that women's sexual desires are just as valid as theirs. I say that they learn that it's just as much their responsibility to use protection, as it is the girl's. I say that they learn that consent is a clear, sober yes and never should be assumed or implied. I say we stop pressuring teenagers to engage sexually and stop pretending that there's something wrong with not having sex, or having sex. I say we teach teenagers that clear consent, protection against unwanted pregnancy and disease, and picking partners responsibly is what's important when and only when they feel ready to have sex not when their peers, society, the media, or anyone else tells them they should or shouldn't be having sex. Finally, as a young woman, I can say definitively that who I'm fucking is between me, my sexual partners, and my gynecologist, and unless you are one of them, it is none of your fucking business.
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Every time I see #WomenAgainstFeminism and #WomenBetrayed trending on twitter, I get more and more upset. This time, the topic of these tags is Planned Parenthood. Regardless of whatever “crime” Planned Parenthood may or may not have committed (Planned Parenthood has been accused of selling fetal tissues from aborted babies), they have done a lot of good for women (and men, too) in the United States.
Planned Parenthood has helped thousands and thousands of men and women everyday who struggle with unplanned pregnancies, STD testings, etc. Very few of what Planned Parenthood does involves abortions (which are safe, legal, and the choice of the women who seek help from Planned Parenthood). Abortion is a very controversial topic that every person seems to have an opinion on, whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice. The platform behind these pro-life movements are that abortions are immoral because they are killing babies, and Planned Parenthood is the root of this evil. You can look at any pro-life webpage and see that they claim large percentages of the services Planned Parenthood provides are abortions to pregnant women, like this one at Life News. These statistics, however, are very very wrong. Abortions compose only 3% of the services Planned Parenthood provides (332,000 terminations out of 11.4 million services provided in 2009 according to a Washington Post piece.) So with only 3% of Planned Parenthood’s services involving abortions, what other services do they offer to the 2.7 million men and women who seek help from the organization every year? These services include screenings for cancer (such as breast, cervical, and ovarian), pregnancy screenings and support, screenings for AIDS/HIV and other STDs, and general health and reproductive services for girls and women at risk. Many of these services are provided to people of low-income who cannot afford to have these tests done elsewhere, or people who are at risk at home or with their relationships (many teenage girls who become pregnant and must hide this from their families, or risk being kicked out). But does anyone discuss those services, or the millions of women and men Planned Parenthood has helped? Of course not. Everyone is concerned with the 3%, the abortions that Planned Parenthood has assisted with (which, again, were performed safely and legally). I partly blame the poor sex education U.S. schools provide to their students, considering almost everyone behind the #WomenBetrayed campaign does not seem to understand the difference between a fetus and a baby. Stating that Planned Parenthood allegedly donates fetal tissue, and that it allegedly donates baby tissue are two very different concepts. Regardless of your opinion on abortion, do you really want to condemn an organization (whose main goal to provide men and women with reproductive health services) because you disagree with 3% of its services, especially when there are more concerning matters to become enraged about? For instance, the Deepwater Horizon/BP oil spill lawsuit is still going on (and BP is trying to get out of paying for the irreparable damage it did in the Gulf). There are a lot of things Americans could get angry over, so why choose Planned Parenthood? This isn’t about saving a fetus (which, for those who do not know, is far from being a baby), this is about supporting women’s reproductive health (and general) rights. Body positivity seems more of a dream than a reality for most girls living in 2015. While companies like Aerie are slowly working to promote more body types in their new campaign to stop retouching pictures of models, there is still a standard (especially for women) to be very skinny and fit within a particular mold. While there is nothing wrong with being skinny, there is a problem with only promoting skinny bodies, instead of equal representation of all body types (which does include skinny bodies too, but not only skinny bodies).
Body positivity is the societal acceptance of every body type. This acceptance will have a domino effect on the female population in the US (and other countries). Women will become more comfortable with their bodies, and the fashion industry will be forced to normalize the sales of extra small and large clothing for women on the ends of both extremes. But the most important effect is that society will put less pressure on women to look a certain way, which will help many female’s confidence and self-worth, plus also reduce the hyper sexualization of women for the sole reason of capitalism. One body positive speaker is Orion Carloto. Carloto is a YouTuber, writer for the blog local wolves, and self-proclaimed feminist. Carloto recently posted a video on her YouTube channel entitled “#BODYPOSITIVITY + ACCEPTING YOURSELF,” where she explains the importance of accepting yourself as you are, “flaws” and all. Her “PS. Positivity” column in the magazine (available to read online through their website) promotes positive thinking, and accepting yourself as you are. It is especially important for women like Carloto to vocalize their opinions on feminism and positivity because so many young girls are raised with the mindset that they will never be good enough, and that it is normal for women to be highly regarded for their bodies over their character. YouTubers like Carloto are important in influencing a new generation of girls, empowering them to accept themselves despite what they are otherwise told by society. If you’re interested in hearing what Carloto has to say about body positivity, be sure to follow her on twitter and check out her channel on YouTube. It’s a well-known fact that in the United States, women make $0.78 to every $1.00 a man makes of the same profession, and this is often the platform used for many feminists’ campaign for equal pay. However, there are a few crucial details excluded from this fact that make it even more shocking. When race is incorporated into this statement, the need for feminism becomes even stronger. White women earn $0.78 to every $1.00 a white man earns. Black women earn $0.64 to every $1.00 a white man earns for the same profession, and Hispanic women earn only $0.54 to every $1.00 earned by a white man.
Feminism is the idea that men and women should be economically, politically, and socially equal. In theory, feminism is all-inclusive and represents all people who identify as female (or non-binary). However, problems arise to feminism in practice. As a feminist, I could list hundreds of reasons why feminism is needed today (maybe at another time). As a feminist, I could talk on and on about why feminism is important for every single woman in and outside of the United States. And as a feminist, it hurts me to admit that feminism does not represent all women. As a white cisgender woman, I have the privilege of identifying as a feminist, and voicing my opinion alongside other white cisgender women who share my concerns. But with white women leading the forefront with this new wave of feminism, there is very little room for all the other demographics feminism is supposed to incorporate (black women, Hispanic women, Native American women, Asian women, WoC, trans women, etc.) to voice their concerns. It should be of no surprise that my experience as a feminist is different than a black woman’s experience as a feminist. There are many more injustices WoC have to face that I have the luxury of not even having to think about, but these discriminations are never really addressed by the general feminist population. I rarely hear about feminism fighting the “angry black woman” stereotype, or that a large majority of transphobic actions are against trans WoC. I almost never have to think about gentrification, or police brutality against black women (at least black men are receiving some news coverage). After years of claiming to be a feminist, I now understand that I am a white feminist, and white feminism is not the same thing as feminism. As a white feminist (and not a white feminist), I need to not only “support” WoC, but also listen to them and actively use my privilege to progress their voices and their concerns. I want them to not only feel like they’re being represented, but be represented on the same level I am. I want to hear their concerns, and help push them to the forefront so they can voice these concerns themselves, because I’ve said enough already. It’s time we (as white feminists) not only listen to WoC and trans women (especially trans WoC), but also help them gain the attention they deserve. Feminism should unite women of different backgrounds and races to fight for the benefit of all women, not just white feminists for white feminism. |
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